In Your Dreams
by Angyua
Summary: Harry is numb. He can't mourn for the ones he has lost. A new year is here, new love and adventure. But can he deal with it? Angsty!Harry, Numb!Harry, but with bits of humor to lighten it. Most probably HG, RH, unless my characters get away from me as the
1. Chapter 1

**In your dreams**

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author notes: This is my first fic and a pathetic attempt at that, but I had to try sometime. I'm not a very good writer and so my expectations are not high. And yes I use big words to hide the weak plot. Good luck! Thanks to Charlie, you rock! Also to Pol, Kirsten, Tandy and Meg (MegastarMog), loyal readers. Yeah and the grammar is shocking, I wrote this very quickly and have no beta at the moment.

**Chapter 1**

It was a Sunday afternoon and a teenager by the name of Harry Potter was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling trying to feel something. He also happened to be a wizard.

To a stranger this scene would be completely normal, just a teenage boy with jet black hair, green eyes and an unusual scar on his forehead, lying on his bed, the picture of boredom.

But this was not true. The truth was it had been very long since he had felt something real. This boy wanted to grieve, grieve for his godfather, his parent, his friend. Sirius Black. An outlaw, who was imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit, who was killed, murdered in a fight against people who wanted to kill his godson. This man was the only parent Harry had ever known and he had died saving him. Instead of crying and raging, Harry lived in a state of numbness unable to accept yet another loss. Although was sad, and knew he missed his friend dearly he could not grieve, he could not feel, he was numb.

The Dursleys had been ignoring Harry, not even giving him chores like they used to, not speaking or interacting with him.They were afraid that if they even got too close, wizards and witcheswould appear and turn them all into slugs.

Little did they know there were always wizards nearby. The Order of the Phoenix were still watching Harry and, unlike the year before,Harry knew. So whenever Harry fancied a chat he just walked to the park, sat down on a bench and whistled. This was a signal for whoever happened to be there to come out.

Harry had been in touch with his friends almost every day. In addition to Ron and Hermione he was in touch with Ginny, Luna (these letters were always..interesting to say the least), Neville, Fred and George, Remus Lupin and, true to his word, the Order.

The order letters were always interesting, especially Tonks'. Every three days someone from the order wrote him a letter. Although Mrs Weasley seemed to enjoy this task Harry never got two in a row from the same person(he had a sneaking suspicion Mr Weasly had something to do with this. The authors of these letters were Charlie, Bill, Mr and Mrs Weasly; Moody; Mundungus (though this was frowned upon by Mrs Weasley) and Tonks. In the very first of these it said that as soon as three weeks were up Harry would be "out of that hellhole" and spending the rest of the holidays with the Weasleys, wherever that may be.

Harry gave up trying to feel and pulled himself into a sitting position. He put on his glasses and checked the clock 5:30am. _Perfect,_ thought Harry, _enough time for a shower, then I just have to dress and grab breakfast, I packed my bag last night so I should be ready by 6:15am with 15 minutes to get to Mrs Figg's house. _

While Harry was making himself breakfast, cheese on toast, Aunt Petunia came downstairs in her nightgown.

"Morning, Aunt Petunia," Harry said, assuming a kind face.

"Morning," said Petunia noticing Harry's backpack, "Where are you going?"

"Mrs Figg came round yesterday, remember? Asked me to be there 6:30 sharp?" said Harry, evenly.

"Oh yes, well, get a move on."

"Yes, Aunt Petunia"

* * *

Harry knocked on Mrs Figg's door and started when it opened immediately.

"Oh, er, hi…Mrs Figg," said Harry.

"Oh come in, come in, Harry dear"

Harry entered and waited patiently as Mrs Figg closed the door, locked it, bade him to sit and shooed the cats. As soon as she sat Harry let out what was on his mind.

"So Mrs Figg…why am I here?"

"Some people from 'the old crowd' are coming. Cake?"

"No thank-you. Why?"

"To talk about how you're getting to the Weasleys, of course. And what time you should be ready, who's coming, that sort of thing. Bickies?"

"No thank-you. Are they coming by floo?"

"Mmm-hmm…"

They waited in comfortable silence for a while then Harry saw the fireplace glow green and an ash covered figure stumbled in to the room with three others following in quick succession. Harry stood and recognised them as Charlie, Bill, Tonks and Remus.

"Harry, mate." This was Charlie, dustinga finelayer of soot onto one of Mrs Figg's man y cats.

"Hey," said Bill, cool as always.

"Hi Harry!" said Tonks, knocking over a coffee table.

"Harry," said Remus haltingly. His eyes werefull of sorrow, hope and happiness. He steppedforward and embraced Harry.

_He's still grieving… why can't I?_ thought Harry.

Harry returned the hug tightly saying, "Moony, thank you."

The two separated and Remus stepped back, breaking the intense moment.

"Aww, Harry what about me?" said Tonks hugging him and pecking on the cheek.

"Harrykins…" said Charlie stepping forward

"…Will you give us a kiss too?" said Bill stepping forward next to his brother, sounding curiously like the twins.

"Oh, but what will Ron say?" said Harry in a mock anxious voice.

Bill grinned, ready to give up the charade,but Charlie cracked his knuckles and said menacingly, "Don't worry, I deal with dragons, he won't bother us," causing every body to laugh.

"Sorry about the earliness" said Tonks with a yawn"it was the only time all of us had free."

"Let me just say 4:30 am is not a time" said Bill wearily.

Looking at the dark circles around Tonks' eyes, Harry thought he might reconsider the whole Auror business.

"Alright," said Remus flopping onto the couch, "down to business."

Harry sat down next to him while Charlie and Tonks sat on Harry's other side. Bill stood in front of the group and outlined the plan:

"Three weeks is up. Even Dumbledore thinks you'd better come home. So Harry, can you be packed and ready to go by 3:00pm? Okay so remind your Aunt you're going to the Weasly's house for the rest of the summer, and yes you have to remind her, and meet Tonks on the corner. She'll lighten your trunk and bring you to the park where the rest of us; Remus Charlie and I, will be waiting. We don't want a repeat of last years trip so we won't be flying. We'll portkey to a hill near the Burrow, and then walk down. We can't portkey straight there because of some wards we added when **he** returned. Any questions?"

"No but um this didn't take very long, you didn't really need to come all the way down here" said Harry sheepishly.

" Ah but we're not finished" said Remus knowingly.

"Oh no you see… mum wants to know how little Harry is and if he needs anything at all" teased Charlie.

"Plus I want to talk to you about something… it seems you funded the carrot topped menaces who turned me into a bird when I ate a scone they offered me" said Tonks raising her eyebrows to amusement of Harry.

"Mate wait till you see it, the twins have made a whole range of things that turn into spiders just to scare Ron. He twitches every time he sees the garden rake, its brilliant!" said Bill, snickering,"Actually the whole shop is brilliant. And to think. I was the one who taught them how to pick locks."

The five friends spoke for a while, bringing Mrs Figg into the conversation, joking and just talking about trivial things. Eventually it was time for Tonks and Bill to leave so everyone said there goodbyes and went their separate ways. After nearly 4 hours Harry left Mrs Figgs and started down the street back to the Dursleys.

Aunt Petunia was washing the dishes when Harry came in so he went in and told her he would be leaving that afternoon. When she demanded to know if _they_ were coming Harry replied irritably that _he _would be meeting _them_.

He made his way upstairs thinking about what was happening that afternoon. Harry was going, leaving the dursleys again. He should be ecstatic. He wasn't.

Upon entering his room Harry heaved his trunk onto his bed and started throwing his things in haphazardly. Then he stopped and realised this time he had time this time he had been warned. He emptied all his stuff onto his bed and sat down next to his trunk. Item by item Harry folded and placed his things in his trunk. He started on his books placing them in one at a time. He really had a lot of stuff. He then put his collapsible telescope, his servicing kit and his broom stick on top before realising he wasn't taking astronomy. Harry didn't remove it, deciding he would ask Mrs Weasly what to do with it when he got there.

Hedwigcame back from her huntingand Harry told her he was going to the Burrowandlet her out.

Two forty-five could not come fast enough for Harry. Packing his belongings only took an hour and a half so Harry was left with more than two and a half hours to fill. So he lay on his bed daydreaming about flying and seeing his friends, his real family. Harry knew Dumbledore would be checking his progress and as much as Harry hated to admit it, he had good reason to. So Harry practiced Occlumency for a half hour as well.

When 2:45 finally rolled round, Harry hauled his trunk off the bed and down the stairs. Harry told his Aunt he was leaving and without a word to Vernon or Dudley he left.

Tonks greeted Harry at the corner and lightened his trunk just like the plan said. She also shrunk Hedwig's cage discreetly so Harry would not have to worry about the extra baggage.

They walked in companionable silence until they turned a final corner. Tonks let out a hearty "HA!" and Harry saw what she was laughing at. Bill and Charlie were running up and down the grassy area playing what seemed to be muggle football in wizard robes, but more peculiar was Remus swinging on the child swingsanother footballclutched to his chest laughing as he went up and back.

Harry could not keep his composure any longer, he burst out laughing, doubling over from the strain of it. Tonks pulled Harry up and they jogged the last few feet, with Harry's trunk trailing after them. He doubled over again as Remus gave out a "wheeeeee!" as he gained height and Tonka sat laughing on the ground next to him. Bill looked at Harry and got a footy in the stomach from Charlie for his trouble. This caused Harry to laugh even harder until he fell down on his bum in the mud. He looked surprised for a moment before grabbing his sides laughing again. Remus noticed to commotion and regettfully slowed and stopped, sitting down on Harry's other side.

The three sat and watched Charlie and Bill wrestle until Tonks and Remus got up and pulled the brothers into bear hugs. Charlie twisted easily out of Tonks grip and caught her around the waist. Bill however was held tight, unable to move, by Remus. He released the Weasly only to be tackled to the ground by the red head. Before 30 seconds were up Bill was pinned in the mud. When Remus released him bill sat up and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "damn…bet he works out…superstrength…cursebreaker not…bloody…unfair..."

"Well kiddies there's been a change of plans," said Remus.

"What? What's happened?" was the general response.

"Nothing, nothing, we're wanted at … headquarters," Remus explained slowly, face blank, a mask.

There was an uncomfortable, tentative silence in which everyone watched Harry warily. His face was devoid of emotion and the others in the group became nervous at his lack of reaction. _He looks just like he's been given the _kiss,_ he's so empty._

Harry shook his head slightly "well it's a quarter past three already," he said checking his watch, "we better go."

* * *

One dizzying whirl later Harry stood on the lawn in front of grimmauld place trying to catch his balance.

"You 'right Harry?" said Tonks holding his arm.

"yep, I'm fine. Never been good with portkeys," said Harry regaining his composure.

" no, I mean about this, you know this place," explained Tonks cautiously.

Harry smiled wearily " yeah I know. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I have to face it some time."

Although Tonks was not convinced, she decided that it was his choice. _He looks so empty behind the smile. It's not a mask, It's just…nothing._

Charlie led the scraggly group to the door. He raised his hand and knocked but his hand did not touch the wood.

" Cushioning and doorbell charms," said Bill " Dumbledore got rid of Mrs Black but the cushioning charm has dark magic recognising and disguise charm laced in. The only people ignored by it are Tonks, because of the metamorphagus thing,and…Snape."

"m'kay."

The door swung open and bill stepped in followed by Charlie. Remus stepped into the foyer and beckoned Harry who nodded and stepped forward. But as soon as he passed through the frame his knees buckled and he hit the floor on his knees, stomach cramping violently. He pulled himself up on the doorframe but stumbled and fell.

"Harry-" Tonks began, halting, turning back to him.

He crawled away from the door, rolled onto his side, lifted himself into a sitting position and threw up spectacularly on the dark lawn. Harry crawled away and curled into the foetal position, sweating and shaking.

"Harry" cried a distant voice he recognised as Remus, before closing his eyes and accepting the calm darkness beneath his lids.

* * *

Author notes: Woooooh. Cliffhanger. Please don't come after me with pitchforks. And yes, the disjointed, messy writing style will remain unchanged so feel free to stop reading. REVIEW if you want me to continue. And any advice would be MUCH appreciated. The grammar is shocking, I wrote this very quickly and have no beta at the moment. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"My dear friend you are talking utter bull. Ginny, tell him he's dreamin'."

"Look mate, buddy … you're a dirty rotten liar. It's a fact. You're only fooling yourself."

"Ha ha. No seriously, stop this charade."

"Et tu brute!"

"Oh ho! Shakespeare hey, wait till Hermione hears!"

"Don't you dare! Just admit it! The cannons are going to do it! This year is ours. I can feel it!"

"Errol, may he rest in peace, had… no, has a better chance! You must be delusional."

Ginny Weasly shook her head bemusedly, watching her brother and his best friend argue. Over Quidditch. Now really.

_This is our future? We're doomed_ she thought as the teens attempted to think of witticisms.

She sighed exasperatedly and pulled what appeared to be a small quaffle.

"Oy Ronnikins, catch!" she said throwing the ball at her brother, who, due to a year of hard Quidditch training, reflexively caught it one handed.

"Ginny what the – arghhhahhnonononoeeep!" As soon as Ron caught the ball it turned brown and sprouted multiple legs. A lovely brown, hairy spider.

The spider scuttled up Ron's arm and was probably not expecting to find itself soaring through the air,as Ron flailed his long gangly arms and sent it flying.

And Harry, wheezing with laughter, was definitely not expecting the spider to come flying his way.It fell into his handsand he found that it had stopped moving. Peering confusedly at it, Harry saw the letters 'WWW' carved onto its back. He knew Ron was staring at him so, taking a chance, and desperately hoping he wasn't about to turn bright pink or some such, he popped it into his mouth.

"Mmm," he said looking an horrified Ron in the eye "a little hairy though."

Ron's face contorted horribly and turned green.

Faced with his reaction, Ginny and her unwilling co-conspirator Harry had no choice but to break down laughing. Taking pity on her brother, Ginny took another ball from her pocket, poked it and let it change into a spider and scuttle up her arm. When it froze, she caught it and gave it to her brother who hesitantly took it. Ron upon realising it was in fact harmless and only chocolate, gobbled it up.

"WWW, ay? Stupid Fred and George. Shoulda known"

"That's not what you said after the 'rake incident' " said Ginny cackling.

"I want to forget that. I really, really want to forget that.Repressing memory nnnnnnnnnow!" said Ron massaging his temples.

_He recovered quickly,I guess_thought Ginny watching Harry. It was hard to believe it was only an hour or to since Harry arrived.

* * *

Ginny had been curled up at one end of the couch reading when Remus ran in carrying Harry, surrounded by various members of the order. 

"Harry?" she said hesitantly. She jumped up and let Remus layhim down.

"Mum! It's Harry" she called urgently throwing a blanket over him. She knelt next to the boy and touched his face. It was hot.

Remus ran through an open doorway yelling back over his shoulder "I'll get water!"

Tonks turned to the Weaslys.

"Get Pomprey," she said to Charlie, "We'll get Dumbledore."

The three of them ran outside, as Remus ran back in water jug and glasses in hand.

" Theothershavegoneforpompreyanddumbledore, whathappened?" Ginny said in a rush as he dipped a conjured kerchief in the water.

"I don't know," he replied, wetting Harry's sweating brow, "he just crumpled and threw up and passed out and where is Molly? I'm no good at this!I think It might have been Sirius, Harry didn't react properly to that place."

Ginny took the kerchief out of Remus' shaking hands and sat on the couch next to the feverish boy, stroking his face and wiping his brow, wishing she know what she could do to help.

Remus _Scourgified_ Harry, and Molly ran in, streaks of soot covering her face, accompanied by an ever graceful Dumbledore and a frazzled looking Madam Pompfey.

Ginny and Remus leapt up, letting Pompfey through.

"What happened?" asked Dumbledore concernedly, "Bill, Charlie and Nymphadora told us to come, no time to explain."

"I'm not sure he just stepped inside and he was gone. He curled up,I think his stomach was hurting, and staggered outside. He threw up on the grass and fainted. I don't kno-" said Remus, interruptedby Pompfey.

"Stress. Stress and shock. Thats all" said Pompfey simply.

"Sirius. I knew it! The boy can't deal yet! I feel like an idiot for even suggesting it! Oh what a fool!" said Remus angrily.

"Hush! The boy needs rest and comfort, nothing more. I'll make a calmingpotion and a stomach-soothing potion for him when he wakes up, if you'll show me where your materials are" said Pompfey, directing the last bit to Molly.

"Ah yes. I'll make some hot chocolate and tea shall I? You look like you could use it Remus" said Dumbledore, eyes twimklingslightly "and we can all discuss what we shall do with young Harry."

"But..Harry. I don't want to leave him by himself!" exclaimed Molly quietly as she could.

"We will be right next door and I'm sure Ginervera here is more than qualified towatchHarryand summon us if needed."

The adults filled out, not wanting to disturb Harry.

Ginny moved to sit on the edge of the lounge. She dampened the kerchief again andcarefully soothed Harry's face. His eyes moved beneath his lids and he was no longer shaking. She hesitantly raised her hand to his face and gently stroked his flushed cheek. He smiled ever so slightly and moved his head. Ginny stiffened, afraid to wake him. He moved his cheek to rest lightly on her hand and she slowly relaxed, caressing his cheek again.

This small action calmed her and apparently calmed Harry too. It brought a small sincere smile from Remus and Molly, a bright twinkle from Dumbledore and an approving nod from Madam Pomfey before the confersation began.

* * *

Authors Notes: Okay. So what do you think? Too short? Too long? Anything, any advice, like "Try to have an actual plot, rather than a whole lot of scenes you want to write". Ok I do have to mention Kirsten again, because this girl is awesome. Love ya! Oh an any mention of luminous shorts is acredited to her.Anyway. It took the whole chapter to explain that one little cliffie. Sorry, I'm a slow writer, please be patient. Also sorry if there are Grammar Mistakes(capitals because it is apparently a horrible offence). I did try to check for mistakes, but I have no beta as yet. Looks around hopefully Any volunteers? Besides Meg of course. Thanks todreamweaver26, MegastarMogand Jenna for reviewing, bless their cotton socks. And the rest of you REVIEW, DAMN YOU! I have more alerts than I do reviews so... R E V I E W !

Now.


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